Early Faith and Childhood Loss

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I still remember the day I signed up for baptism class at Mclean Bible Chruch - I was six years old, beaming with excitement, eyes full of happy tears, and a heart wide open to Jesus. I didn’t know all the theology back then, but I knew Jesus was calling me, and that I wanted to follow and be more like Him. I was so excited to start my new journey with Jesus and knew this was the start of something extremely special. 

However, after the tragic passing of my father the following year, my childlike view of God started to crack. I struggled to comprehend the idea of God’s goodness, His plan, and the uncertainty of what my life would look like going forward. So many people in my life had different viewpoints and opinions on what was happening, and I struggled to understand it all.  

What I couldn’t see at the time was how God was moving through my mom. Her steady, unshakable faith became our anchor. Watching her walk closely and faithfully with the Lord through unimaginable grief laid a quiet foundation in me - one that wouldn't become solid until years later.

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Identity, Performance, and the Idol of Success

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In middle and high school, the sport of track and field quickly became what I built my identity around. I chased excellence, recognition, and control. As I grew more and more successful in the sport, the appraisal and approval of others were what I lived for. I acknowledged God in words, but I wasn’t truly living for Him. My life was fueled by performance and self-will, not surrender. My Bible gathered dust, and the church became more about community than connection with Christ. I had formulated my own plans, my own path to success, and I held tightly to it until it all started to fall apart.

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Breaking Point and Surrender at Michigan

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After a devastating injury and health crisis in 2018, my sense of self completely shattered. I spent the following two and a half years lost and trying to rebuild myself - physically, emotionally, and spiritually - all in my own strength. Nothing worked, and I fell into a very dark season of unrelenting anxiety and depression. I carried that same mindset into my first year at the University of Michigan. I trained harder than ever through the fall, determined to prove I still had what it took. But when the time came for me to line up and race for the first time collegiately, I ran the slowest times I had in years. I was absolutely devastated and had come to the end of myself. That night, on January 21, 2021, I sat in my dorm room and finally cried out to God. I opened my Bible for the first time in months, seeking any form of comfort in a bible verse as my last resort. I prayed a quiet, desperate prayer: “Lord, I’m disappointed. I need you. Please make this better.” That moment shifted everything.

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Faith Comes Alive

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In the months that followed, God surrounded me with an incredible spiritual family through Athletes in Action at Michigan. Through the mentorship and discipleship of Sarah and Colby Keefer, my faith came alive again and truly became my own. I met lifelong friends who were passionate believers and welcomed me with open arms. Their lives were living examples of what it means to walk in full surrender to Christ. During that season, I began leading Bible studies, encouraging my teammates, and learning to live with Jesus as Lord over every part of my life. That season gave me a new identity that was rooted not in performance, but in grace.

 

Growing into Leadership and Ministry

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When I transferred to San Diego State University, I carried that fire with me. Over the next three years, God continued to expand my heart for ministry. I served as a youth ministry coordinator at Flood Church, walking alongside middle and high school students and helping them encounter God in real, relational ways. I also led within AIA at SDSU, pouring into fellow athletes and sharing my story.

At the same time, I faced some of the hardest battles of my athletic career. Relentless injuries, setbacks, and discouragement shook my confidence and tested my endurance. Still, through every valley, God was teaching me what it meant to truly depend on Him. I learned that strength isn’t found in striving but in surrender. He deepened my faith in ways I never expected, and it was in those hard seasons that His presence became more real and personal than ever before.

Through it all, the Lord has shown me that He doesn’t just want my attention. He wants to walk with me, lead me, and do life with me. I’ve learned that faith isn’t just for the hard moments. It’s the foundation of who I am and how I live every day. I now see my sport and my life not as platforms to prove myself but as opportunities to glorify God. Every practice, every conversation, and every challenge becomes an act of worship, not for my glory but for His.

 

God has also gently unraveled the lie of perfection that I held onto for so long. He began to teach me me that His love is not based on my performance, effort, or outcome. It’s rooted in grace.

 

In moments of weakness, He meets me with strength. In moments of striving, He reminds me to rest. Because of Jesus, I no longer have to hustle for approval or hide my flaws. I am His, fully loved, fully known, and completely held.

 

My prayer is that everyone reading this would be encouraged to lean into God's love and discover the deep peace and freedom that come from walking with Him.